The guide to the perfect selfie. Who said that getting likes on FB was easy.
1) Find a deserted spot where you won’t get caught taking selfies. After all, that is some of the most embarrassing stuff that can happen in a humans life!
2) Make sure all the make up you put on is still there and add some more. After all, you dont want anybody to see that your skin has a black pore! Ai ai ai! Oh noes!
3) Find a good location, prefferably with awkward and random stuff in the background, cause that’ after all what all the other selfies on FB has. Daaah!
4) Put your lovely face (that looks like a mask with all the makeup) in front of your Iphone camera. Make sure your face muscles are are stiff and weird while you put on a big smile and pretend you are having the time of your life.
5)Almost ready to press the photo-button! But, first make sure you stare into the camera with an empty gaze. Because after all the eyes are the windows to the soul! And you do not want everyone on FB to stare into your eyes looking for your shallow soul.
6) You are ready for action! Press the photo-button and make sure you get the really good selfies that show that you are having ‘the time of your life’ alone in a deserted forest. Cause everybody else is having so much fun on FB, and you cannot be any less fun then them.
7) Pick the best selfie and upload it on FB, Insta, Twitter and Google + ASAP! Then either enjoy all the likes, or cry over the abscensce of likes. And if you don’t get any likes, well, then who cares about social media and likes anyway.
Here is my perfect selfie shot. Look and learn kids!
Hurray hurray! So happy and excited right now! Business is going well! Even people in Japan crave my custome made totes;) hit me up if you want one:) i Will also be selling some bags and pictures on the Street market on kingsday. At prinsengracht 221:)
Have a awesome friday people! And happy easter!